In treating couples for over 25 years, one thing always jumps out to me as being a very clear sign of having a dysfunctional relationship...When one partner is willing to consistently sacrifice their own needs in order to take care of their partner emotionally. Often, when the pattern is questioned or probed, there are very good, rationale explanations for why a person does it, as that is the "story" they tell themselves to justify their actions. However, when digging a little further and gently challenging the justifications, it becomes apparent that there may be a fear of being abandoned or being rejected if they stop catering to their partner's reactions/demands. A lack of self-worth is generally an underlying reason why a person feels inclined to do this repeatedly. Maybe this was the pattern modeled for you growing up? Maybe a healthier way was never observed? Or maybe, you have a deeply hidden belief that you don't deserve anything better?

If you find yourself in an imbalanced relationship, where you are often abandoning yourself to take care of another's emotional needs, I encourage you to either begin couple therapy or individual therapy. Ideally speaking, you want to feel a mutual level of respect and care in the relationship, where one is not constantly walking on eggshells around the other's moods or emotions. In healthy relationships, both partners' needs matter and therefore, both partners value each other's emotional experience in the relationship. If this is not what's happening in your relationship, maybe this is the year that you finally address those dysfunctional patterns with some professional help? Or perhaps, maybe this is the year that you finally choose YOU and leave a very lonely, emotionally unfulfilling relationship, heal your wounds, and then move forward with your life to pursue a much more emotionally fulfilling relationship. It's a new year...the possibilities are endless!